Categories
Children motherhood

3 Opportune Times To Share The Gospel With Your Kids

#1 When they tell you all the good stuff they did that day.

The other day one of my littles came to me and said: “Today I did extra chores. I cleaned the downstairs without you asking and I gave my toy to my sister.” This child is one of those kiddos that really wants to please mommy and daddy. Which may sound like a good thing, and it is a good thing, but it can also lead to wanting to please peers later. I have heard some of the most rebellious children were the most compliant growing up.

Anyway, when this child shared this with me I asked: “Did you ask Jesus to help you do any of those things?” She looked at me with a peculiar face and said: “No.”

I explained that in life we will be called to do many good things and that without Jesus’ help we will become really weary. We need His help to do the many good works He has called us to. He died for us not only to be there for the next life but for this life as well. He wants to be the vine and us the branches right now!

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Eph. 2:10

The key part to that verse is: IN CHRIST JESUS. We must be abiding in Him in order to do the good works He has called us to.

Explaining this to our little people is so important. Good works are good, but apart from Christ they mean nothing. Our good works are like filthy rags apart from the work of the Spirit in our lives. Our children need to understand that they are doing their good works as unto the Lord while also recognizing that those good works are not what makes them righteous. It is their position in Christ that makes them righteous.

#2 When they mess up.

This is probably our most opportune time to be sharing the gospel with our children. It’s also the most opportune time to remind ourselves of the gospel.
When our children mess up we need to be an encouragement to them (unless they are in a prideful/rebellious state of mind in which we need to remind them more of the wrath of God rather than the grace of God so they do not sin more, read Romans 6:1). But usually our children are broken over their mistakes. We need to remind them during these times that that is why Christ came. Remind them that if we were perfect and could earn our way to heaven then He certainly died in vain.

#3 When they talk badly about others.

When anyone talks badly about others it is always from a place of pride. Pride comes before a fall and blocks us from seeing the cross accurately. The cross says: “You are all sinners in need of a Savior. You all fall short.” Reminding our children when they talk bad about others that they are no better than them helps them to see the cross more clearly and understand their sinfulness in a truer light. Hopefully we are setting a good example for our children in this and speaking well of others or not speaking of them at all. At the foot of the cross we are all wretched sinners in need of a Savior.

*Feel free to share in the comments the most opportune times in your home that you share the gospel with your children!

Hope to see you Mother’s Day Weekend at the upcoming marriage conference my husband and I are putting on! Great way to spend mother’s day-a night away investing in your marriage.

 

 

Categories
Children motherhood

Forget About Your Child’s Self-Esteem

There has never been a time in history where self-esteem has been more of a focus. You can’t walk through an elementary school hallway or enter a psychologist’s office without hearing about the importance of our children having self-esteem.

I say it’s not working. In fact, I think it is making things worse! Focusing on ourselves was never our Designer’s plan! Focusing on ourselves only leads us into a downward spiral! 

Suicide rates have been climbing amongst teens despite all the world’s efforts to raise self-esteem. In an article by NPR they said: “There is one age group that really stands out — girls between the ages of 10 and 14. Though they make up a very small portion of the total suicides, the rate in that group jumped the most — it experienced the largest percent increase, tripling over 15 years from 0.5 to 1.7 per 100,000 people.”

These poor girls. They aren’t being pointed toward a God who loves them and sent His Son to die for them, they are being pointed toward a mirror and told they are beautiful and that they need to love themselves. That doesn’t work because we were made for a much greater love. We were made to direct our love and worship toward the Creator of the universe, not toward ourselves. In other words, self-esteem is really turning into a form of idol worship giving the praise and focus to the wrong person. 

Our children don’t need more self-esteem, that is an endless, vain pursuit. We were never meant to esteem ourselves but to esteem Christ.

You won’t find in the bible a verse that exhorts us to love ourselves. You will find God exhorting us to love others as we love ourselves because we already have loving ourselves down. We think about ourselves plenty.
Children are being pointed in the wrong direction and more confused and depressed than ever before. Worrying about their self-esteem is only plummeting them into deeper depression and insecurity because their identity is to be in Christ.
They are being taught to fix their gaze on themselves rather than their Maker who is the only One that can satisfy their pursuit of being fulfilled anyway.

May we repent of encouraging our children to be confident in themselves and help them place their confidence in the One that will never let them down!

Am I saying you can never say an encouraging word to your child? No. But I feel like the emphasis is in the wrong place when it comes to raising our children. The focal point of our hearts and minds is to be on Christ. If you want to encourage your children while making sure that their confidence is in Christ alone then go for it!

Love, Katie

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Gal. 2:20
 

“fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 12:2

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor. 12:9-10

Categories
marriage

Do You Let Your Husband Rebuke You?

Rebuke. Our flesh hates that word.

Coddle. Comfort. Encourage. Compliment. Our flesh likes those words!

Rebuking is loving though. Rebuking can be even more loving than comforting or encouraging because those we truly love receive not just compliments from us but the truth spoke in love from us. 

God gave us our husbands for many reasons and I think one of the best reasons is to help refine us. The Holy Spirit can use our husbands in our lives to make us more like Christ, IF WE LET HIM.

My husband has helped me SO MUCH in my weaknesses. Even though my flesh hates it, my spirit rejoices in knowing how God is using him to refine me.

Maybe you talk too much. (ahem, that would be me). Maybe your husband has told you that you dominated conversation somewhere and your flesh flared up and you defended your flapping lips by saying something like: “People like what I have to say!” and then you call your best friend that doesn’t have the guts to tell you the truth and so she coddles you and tells you: “No! You don’t talk too much.” And then you proceed to ignore your husband’s counsel only to continue in your conversation-dominating ways. 

Maybe you waste too much time on the internet and your house is losing out because of it. Maybe your husband has shared with you that he has noticed your priorities seem out of order and you get super defensive and offended saying he doesn’t appreciate how hard you work when all the while in the back of your mind you know you aren’t prioritizing keeping the home and he is totally right.

Maybe you are wasteful and your husband wants you to be more accountable with your spending…so you start to hide purchases from him rather than admitting you are buying more of what you want rather than what your family needs.

Maybe you’re a little dramatic and constantly complaining to him about other people so he tries to point out good things about the very people you are wanting to trash talk and rather than thank him you get upset and go and vent to someone else.

Maybe you worry too much. Maybe you are a total freak when it comes to your kids being sick and your husband is just trying to help you look on the bright side. Rather than thanking him you yell at him and tell him he doesn’t care about the children.

Maybe your relationship with your children is suffering because of your anger or lack of affection toward your children or any other number of things you do or don’t do. Maybe your husband tries to give you some counsel on how to love them better and you proceed to point out all of the ways he’s failing as a father.

There are SO MANY THINGS that we need to work on and change in order to be more self-controlled, God-honoring women. Who better to help us in this than the man who sees us day in and day out in the raw?! Who better to help point out where we can grow than the man who is best acquainted with our weaknesses?!

No, it’s never fun to hear about ways we may be “failing” or struggling in… but this life isn’t all about us never facing the truth. God wants to walk with us in our journey toward Christ-likeness and He wants to use our husbands to help us in this journey! Don’t inhibit what God wants to do through your husband. Pray for humility and a heart to grow more than a heart that wants to walk in pride and never be challenged.

Proverbs 9:8-9 could be written like this for us as wives: “Do not reprove a scoffer, or she will hate you; reprove a wise woman, and she will love you. Give instruction to a wise woman, and she will be still wiser; teach a righteous woman, and she will increase in learning.”

The opposite could be true too:

A scoffing wife hates her husband. When you reprove her she will reject your reproof. When a husband seeks to give instruction to an unwise wife she will refuse to be wiser and she will continue to decrease in her learning…

Don’t be a scoffing wife. Be a righteous, wise wife who considers her husband’s counsel…even when it hurts!

Love, Katie

 

 

Categories
Children Homeschooling keeping the home Our Family

3 Things I Do To Make The House Run More Smoothly

So many things to do. So many ways to do them. Here are three ways I do things to make our house with 6 children 10 and under run more smoothly.

1. Set a timer. I love my little black and white timer. We have a schedule that is blocked out in 30 minute increments. We set the timer at the beginning of each 30 min. time increment and the kiddos go to their name to see what they are supposed to do during that block of time. One of my biggest tips that involves the timer is what I call: “12 item pick up!” Every time the timer goes off the kids know they need to run around and pick up 12 items. This has changed recently though. I have my 3 year old only pick up 5 things and my 9 year old checks laundry (making sure no rooms have dirty laundry in them, if they do he brings it to the laundry room. He also switches the laundry over and brings clean dry laundry out to living room where I or my 7 year old sorts it and puts it in the right room). This helps in the upkeep of the house SO MUCH.

This is the timer I have. Only $5!

This is what my daily schedule looks like. Super blurry pic but just wanted to give you a glimpse:

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Here is the book I used to make up this schedule. I HIGHLY recommend it!

2. Subscribe and Save. I LOVE THIS! We hardly ever run out of: paper towels, paper plates, toilet paper etc. And I get an additional 15% off of the already low price!

Here are two tips in doing subscribe and save:
1) Make sure you check them every time you get an email from amazon saying: “Review Your Monthly Subscription Delivery”. Many people ignore this and get frustrated when the toilet paper shows up at their door and they have no place to put it because they have so much toilet paper already from the last delivery.
2) Be accurate in how often you receive the item. If you really only use some item every 3 months make sure your delivery button isn’t activated for a delivery every month. Make sense?

Here are some of my subscribe and save items:

3. Jurisdictions. Major game changer. I felt like my days were consisting of arguing over who did what. So I assigned each child (except for my 1 year old) a jurisdiction that they were responsible for every day. No, I don’t have a spinny wheel to spin and get a chore. I don’t “change it up” and have them do a different one each month to make it fair. Life isn’t fair and I am sure in the future my children will have to do the same things day in and out because that’s how life is and so, they have the same jurisdiction every day.

jurisdictions

Ricky, age 9, has the dining room every day. Johnny, age 7, has the living room every day (and because the laundry gets dumped on the couches when clean, he also sorts the laundry and puts it in the correct rooms). Rhea, age 10, has the kitchen every day. Chloe, age 3, unloads the dishwasher every day. Charis, age 5, cleans the girl’s room (including putting all the clothes away) every day. Throughout the day I will say: “Jurisdictions everyone!” There is no confusion. They all know what that means 🙂 We automatically do them after every meal and before bed.

Love, Katie

Be sure to check out my husband’s books! Both 5 stars on Amazon!