I woke up this morning to a sweet text message from my husband thanking me and the kids for our patience with him while he is working on his book. Since the book is separate from his work for the church body here, he has to work on it on his day off and very early mornings and late evenings and that means we don’t get to see him very much. On top of that I am swelling up like a blow fish this pregnancy, nauseated around the clock, suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome and feeling large and unattractive and stressed.
My husband is like my rock. He is steady and strong. I depend on him a lot, especially when I am overwhelmed. Not having him around has been even harder in these last few weeks of pregnancy (I am due July 22nd) but I wouldn’t have it any other way because I am so excited about this book and how God will use it to strengthen marriages! I am also thankful that it will be done before our little Noah gets here since I also struggle with postpartum depression/anxiety and I will need him even more then.
As I read his sweet text message this morning in bed I started to cry. Like little girl crying. I often still feel like a little girl living a big girl life. I just kept thinking: “I’m not ready to be a mom. Or a wife. Or a pastor’s wife. I don’t feel equipped… qualified… or good at what I am called to do.”
According to dictionary.com ready means: “
Here’s the deal. The moment you feel ready to be a mom is the moment you need to repent of your pride. None of us is ready. We’re all just a bunch of sinners trying to train up sinners in the way they should go when we ourselves are still trying to figure that out! But here’s the good news: God has made some wonderful promises in His Word.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for instruction, for conviction, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that the man (or mommy) of God may be complete, fully equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17) Recognize a couple of those words in there? Complete? Fully equipped? Sounds like the ready definition I gave earlier! You see, we aren’t ready but God’s Word is ready.
Isn’t that wonderful?! You aren’t equipped or ready Mama but He can equip you for every good thing He wants you to do! He can accomplish what is pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ… not through you and your strength.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.'” 2 Cor. 12:9
Guess what? I didn’t give you the third definition listed for the word ready, here it is and it is perfect: willing. Now that’s more like it!! Are you willing? Are you willing to recognize you are weak? Are you willing to depend on Him to equip you and make you ready? Then you are ready to be a mom.
The Lord doesn’t need your equipping or strength or ability He just needs your willingness to depend on Him. Read His Word with a sense of desperation in your heart for His wisdom and understanding.
Our children don’t need a mama who is perfectly equipped in her own strength. They need a mama who recognizes she is a mess without Jesus’ help. They need a mama who is in His Word and seeking Him in prayer.
I’m not ready to be a mom and that’s ok. He makes me ready. I am willing.